English Yokel

Has the Media lost interest in the Europe Treaty already?

It was last Thursday, wasn't it, that all of Europe's great and good trooped off to Lisbon for lunch. Those that got there in plenty of time signed the guest book before they went to eat, but one straggler had to do it afterwards. But sign they all did. Sorry, it wasn't a guest book at all, it was an-amending-treaty- that-when-all-the-amendments-are-made- will-have-the-same-effect-as-the- Constitution-that-was-rejected-by-the-citizens-of-Europe-and-is-now-dead that they signed.

Like it or not, and Yokel doesn't like it, there is now nothing that can be done short of a miraculous answer to prayer. Almost all the politicians in the Commons and the Lords are career politicians, and so will scent the aroma of a very good gravy train here. Yes, they will have lots of pretend arguments to look good to the voters, but in the end they will let the whole thing through because it is just too valuable to their own self interest. Why else will they sign away the UK's independence?

But as Yokel writes this on Saturday, it seems to his addled brain that the signing was only two days ago. Surely an event as momentous as this would be bubbling around for days as everyone tried to say their two penn'orth. With great anticipation for what would surely be some fairly belligerent reporting for both sides, Yokel cranked up Firefox and went for a look at the British newspaper sites. It was really hard work to find anything much about Europe at all, and there was even less about this failure of a Constitution! So Yokel hit upon the strategy of searching for the letter combination "eu" (without the quote marks) to ensure that he saw all that was to be found on the site front pages. He was working on the principle that if it is relegated to other pages, it is already not news and can be safely assumed to be off the government's agenda. As news site front pages are frequently changed, Yokel has not included any links in this post. For if you were to try to follow them, it is inevitable that you will see something different. You'll just have to take his word.

First up was the Times. Now they threw a wobbly: two matches but not for Europe. One was about their Entrepreneur Challenge, and the other was a headline starting "Adieu, Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, a tricky...". No idea how it finished, Yokel didn't follow the link.

Oh well, lets try the Mirror. "Phrase not found" said the status bar. Not surprising as their top stories are all about police pay and Diana.

The Sun had two text links to entice the reader to EU stories, but the front page pictures were for stories about Maddie, Footie, and Beckham's lunch box. If you followed the EU links, you did end up with the Sun putting the knife in.

The Daily Mail was a surprise. Their only front page EU reference was a link to an article about Britain and the EU pushing for Kosovan independence. The article seems to be neutral or supportive of such a move. What they don't realise is that it is the same as the inevitable request for independent statehood for parts of Bradford, Oldham, Leicester or East London. And achieved in much the same way, migrate and multiply.

The Telegraph restricts itself to a one line text link on its front page. The link is to a set of photographs of a bit of the pageant (surely that should be pantomime) of the signing ceremony, Gordon Brown's change of neck tie, and his place for luncheon. Millibland just looked like an apprentice out of his depth!

For bit of light relief, Yokel had a look at the New Zealand Herald. They tell us "EU climbs down on key demand at Bali climate talks". Nothing changes there then! The EU is a proven lightweight in anything it touches.

Back in the UK, the Grauniad follows the Kosovo distraction story with "EU gambles on Kosovo mission" as its only front page link to an EU story.

The BBC News UK front page has text links to stories telling us that "Brown belatedly signs EU treaty" and "No 10 dismisses EU treaty 'fuss'". But Yokel didn't expect anything different from the UK Ministry of Propaganda (shades of MiniTrue?).

Sky tell us "PM: No Need For Europe Referendum" as Gordon Brown shows his Euro credentials by nipping off to Brussels to agree to EU stage management of the impending Kosovo disaster.

So here we are then. It is almost too late to refuse the invitation to join this EU monstrosity. The independence of the UK is at stake. It is just two days after the signing. And already it is yesterday's news. And EU inspired food hygiene laws now mean that you can't even use it to wrap fish & chips!

Yokel despairs. Sitting and thinking didn't do his apoplexy any good at all. So instead of exploring the news, he'll be off in due course to explore some English Real Ale. Lifted from the cellar with a proper beer engine, none of this gassy stuff thanks.